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Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), then utilize the flash films/games because the icing around the teenage-annoyance cake. So when the editor pushed #1 Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online to me, I had been suspicious.

At first, I assumed to inquire about: “How are you aware I accustomed to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not only, should i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to monitor down younger me but, if I was right, he know I was into the bastard. Then the editor would foil my life plans by occasionally whispering inside my ear: “hey, remember this gem of a Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little confidence I have left.

Like other narratives, I had been asked who’s tale it had been. So, one splash of water around the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing this is an internet based multiplayer title, I was thinking I’d hide how I’d be examining this video game by using a critical eye included in my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.

Naturally, like other free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts off with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the bottom of a pile, within a bad world trying to shoot you in the back of your head. Or a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. So I did the obvious thing: I blew through the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging all of the circle with names about them. Yes, the aesthetic could be recreated with MS Paint and the sole thing which is missing is Comic Sans.

Each level offered me the option of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. Something which became immediately obvious was that in case I planned to have more than a youngster in the paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i would be required to pick regen at some point. Without this, I might be worn over time like said child from before.

Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked should i wanted a unit-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or so that you can shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly similar to a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the particular simpleton to play as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out from concern with confusion otherwise, I went using the assault rifle option on my tank.

Eventually, like the majority of things, my time with Diep.io arrived at a conclusion after i began picking fights with many other players. Even with the very best damage output I really could muster, probably the most speed, a sizable regen pool, and a lot more health than I knew how to deal with, other players were quickly in a position to put me within my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.